We're Just Bodies in the Teeth of the Combine.

So let me start out by saying the new Parkway Drive album "Deep Blue" is amazing.

Anyways....

At what point did people stop checking their mirrors and blind spots before changing lanes on the highway? I mean I know in the shitty states like New York, New Jersey, and Massachusetts its an ancient custom passed on from generation to generation to just switch lanes with no directional and without looking, but in NH its becoming way too widespread. Examples?

1. On the way to the Subie Kanc run, I am on 93 northbound passing a GMC Sierra stuck behind a tourbus. As I approach the port side of the truck, I suddenly see it swerve almost into my lane, so like any good American I lay on the horn and yell "WHATTHE FUCK?!" only to see the badgery old fuck shrug and look at me like its my fucking fault for passing him on the left and being there when he's trying to get around the bus.

2. Now this one involves a newer Volkswagen owner being a retard, so I'm sure no one will be suprised. I'm on the way home from the afore mentioned Kanc run, and there are barely any other cars on the road except for the VW Passat (see? idiot warning) that I am coming up on and am going to pass, because I am in the passing lane in a turbocharged car god dammit. Lo and behold he just starts making his way into my lane, hitting his directional at the last possible second like a douchebag. Now what I would like to know, is exactly what the fuck he was trying to do/pass, because there were no cars immediately ahead of him.

Are we as a fucking species in that much of an oblivious rush that we can't take TWO FUCKING SECONDS to make sure some poor motherfucker isn't about to become pavement splatter when we change lanes? Seriously. I understand some cars have bad blindspots (240sx hatchbacks) but jesus fuck people, just AT LEAST look in your god damned rear view mirrors if anything. You know, have some common decency? I know its like asking for blood from a stone (unless the stone is on its period and out of tampons), but please, just once, humor me.

Meanwhile, Uptown......

I don't even really know what color this is trying to be, but I haven't used it yet.

So, as some of you may or may not know, ComicCon is happening. I unfortunately cannot afford to go out there and nerd the fuck out so I can only read about it and the humorous and interesting events that occur. Every year there's gaming announcements, movie announcements, and of course graphic literature announcements.....but who knew they could end up so violent?!

http://kotaku.com/5595694/report-crazed-harry-potter-fan-stabs-comic+con-attendee-in-face

OH HELLS YEAH!

First off, who says that ComicCon isn't for all walks of life? The stabber was black, and the dude who caught it on tape was latino! See? The convention reaches out to all walks of life and has something for everyone.....to record and post all over the web. What I did not know, was that there are black people who like Harry Potter, especially to the point of stabbing someone. Now before you get all "aw but thaaaaaaat's raaaaaaaaaaaaaaacist!", slow your role and fucking think for a second. When is the LAST TIME you saw anyone african american (or just dark american for those not from africa) : 1. watching harry potter, 2. talking about/discussing harry potter, 3. in a harry potter movie, or 4. stabbing someone at ComicCon and being known as the harry potter fan who stabbed a guy at ComicCon? EXACTLY. SO SHUT UP AND RELAX. These jokes are (horrible) HARMLESS I swear.

Moving Further Along....

Shut up, I like purple. Alot. Its a great color (colour for everyone else), and has a limitless amount of possibilities.

I like how now that hollywood has a decent streak of successful comic book character movies, they have to go batshit and make every comic book title into a movie in order to capitalize on it.

Let me tell you now, and mark my fucking words, the Green Lantern movie is going to fail. Why? Well a couple reasons:

1. Ryan Reynolds is really not that great of an actor. The only thing he really has going for him is that he is married to the amazing Scarlet Johannsen, and I still don't even know how the fuck he pulled that off.

2. Let's be super realistic here. The general non nerd populus knows of very few comic superheroes, and they are....Superman, Batman, Wonderwoman, and Wolverine. Thank you marketing. Seriously, ask any random person who the Green Lantern is, and I bet 95% of them will retort "who are you, where are your pants, and what the fuck is a green lantern....do you mean like the Coleman camping lanterns?". Shit if hollywood is going to make movies out of comic book characters the regular non nerd schmoe hasn't heard of, I've got a few requests.....

1. Green Arrow. C'mon we're already on the color right?
2. Metal Men. Awesome old school comic, look it up.
3. Deadpool. WITHOUT RYAN REYNOLDS PLEASE.
4. She-Hulk. Liv Tyler please?
5. Hawkman. Way cooler than birdman and you can get someone hot to play She-Hakw or whatever his female counterpart was called. Fuck you its 12:37am and I am NOT looking it up.
6. Miss Marvel. Dunno who you'd get to play her, feel free to be creative.

We'll see how much they can milk out of the superheroe genre before they realize they've ruined it.



Well I had a heapload of other shit to write about and make fun of (yes with mostly tasteless, horrible jokes), but I'm tired as fuck and have to get up for work in the morning.

Adieu, Mon Amis.