Move Along, No Christmas to See Here

Well I think I've left this dormant long enough.

Its December, those fucking jokes of elections are finally over, and I guess its the holiday season again.

Woop de fucking doo.

I mean honestly, I don't really mind Christmas per se, but just some parts of it have grown on my nerves after all these years....

1. Christmas music. Don't get me wrong, I get it, I really do, but why does it always have to be whoever is popular at the moment (and Mariah Carey, for some fucking reason she ALWAYS has a christmas album!) doing the same damned songs over and over? Yes, I understand some artists (if you can even call them that anymore) do write new holiday songs, but 99% of them suck so they don't count. Also, I understand that Christmas isn't really "Metal", but why can't there be a metal christmas album? I'd love to hear Cannibal Corpse do Silent Night or Eths do Noel orrrrrrrrrrrr (thinking......) Blind Guardian do Santa Claus is coming to town. Absurd? Yes. But it would still be 110% better than what's being played over and over and over and over and over and over now. Shit, the last decent Christmas song I've heard is Christmas in Hollis by Run DMC (RIP Jam Master Jay).

Oh, and why the fuck do stores have to play these songs over and over? We know its the holiday season. We know we have dragged our tired, overworked, and underpaid asses to your store to buy shit that we'd rather have for ourselves for other people, so why the fuck do you find it necessary to play these songs, as if to put us in some sort of holiday trance so we don't realize how much we're spending and why?

2. Christmas Trees. What a mess. And for what, something to hang some random glass balls (or diecast trains if you were at my house back in the day) and to put the presents under? Please. I guaruntee if you just stack the fucking present in any corner of the house (or apartment), no one is gonna bitch. I understand the religious part of it (putting a star or angle on top to represent the host of angles or the Star of Bethlehem from the nativity), or that for some its a family tradition, but I don't know, I just don't see the point otherwise. And no, there will not be one at my place this year. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_tree <-yes I read that before typing this part. HA!

3. Carolers. Cause you know, that's what I want at my door, a bunch of random people singing songs I really don't like in the first place. Do these people really have nothing better to do? Hell an even better question, do people even do this anymore? If not, good, if so, dammit.

Now I'm sure the two people who are going to read this (What up Phlip and Mike) are thinking, alright you miserable prick, you don't like Christmas, just like you don't like most things, but hold up, I will actually get to the positives....

......Now.

Things I love about Christmas?

1.THE FOOD. Jesus possum raping christ do I love holiday food. Egg Nog? FUCK YEAH. Pumpkin Pie? FUCK YEAH. Christmas Dinner? FUCK YEAH. My mother has ALWAYS been a great cook, but god dammit does she deliver on the holidays! And now that I'm married, I get to eat at my mother in law's place as well, and she is no culinary slouch either. So yeah.

2. Getting the day off. Now this year sucks, because I already have Saturdays off, so it doesn't count. "Oh but that's not what Christmas is about"....Oh come on. We all love paid holidays, and Christmas gives us just that, so gives a fuck what its about? Oh and getting out early on Christmas eve doesn't hurt either.

3. Hangin with the Fam. Now that I am married, that has 2 meanings, as I get to see my in laws as well. Now while us Murdocks (my mother, brother, sister, and myself) do not always get along, its still good to see them, as we are all usually pretty busy to all be in the same place at the same time. As far as my in laws, its good to see them as well, as they live 2 hours away, so we don't get down there much.

4. I would be an absolute fucking liar if I didn't say that I love getting presents. I mean come on, who doesn't love getting free stuff, especially from awesome people? Right? Right. "Oh but Christmas isn't about and shouldn't be about the presents"....Oh? Then why do we spend so much money year in and year out buying shit for people for christmas? Hmm? Maybe it wasn't supposed to be about that, but that's like saying Tax Season isn't about getting that (hopefully) sweet tax return. Funny thing this year, as I have no real idea wtf I want for Christmas, other than a running Datsun. lol

In summary, Christmas is ultimately about what you make it about. For me, its mostly (but not always) about the above. Some people dig all the corny shit that comes along with it, the tree, the caroling, the music, and that's fine! If that's what does it for you then hey good for you, and I respect that, but it doesn't mean I have to like it.

You'll notice that I really didn't touch on the religious aspect of the holiday, and that is in part out of respect for my friends who read this that are religious. Also, I have been involved in too many messy arguments regarding religion, therefore I try to keep it out of this blog.

To be 100% honest, I don't think I will ever be as "about" Christmas per se as I was when I was a kid, and this is due to the horrible death of my friend Andrew Clancy, who was killed back in 2004 on Christmas. I dunno, they say time heals all wounds, but something like that never really leave the back of one's mind, especially given the shady circumstances surrounding it, and it tends to put a damper on one's holiday spirit.

RIP Drew, we still miss ya buddy.