WTF BMW, Video Games, and a Funeral.

Neat title eh? Thought of it while taking a dump. Let's move on shall we?

It's no secret that I love cars, and reading about cars. Pretty much every day I take time to read several car related site to keep up with the ever changing automotive industry. Some days, I read something that makes my brain go "WHY THE FUCK IS THAT A THING?!", and over the past few months that has been the case. What might be the cause? We'll dive right into it:

Why in the holy hell is BMW making a FWD (front wheel drive for non gearheads) 1 series?! THEY OWN MINI! You know, the brand they revived solely on a small FRONT WHEEL DRIVE hatchback? Don't get me wrong, I understand Audi has the A1, and Mercedes has the A-Class (which is ugly as all hell) so I can see that BMW would feel the need to tap that market....IF THEY HADN'T BEEN LEADING THAT DAMNED SEGMENT FOR YEARS NOW! One might say "Hey now sir, this will give them another strong entry into the  luxury compact market", and that is true, but!! BUT!!! They are also going to be competing against themselves, which is very dangerous. With all these weird models they are releasing under the Mini brand (including possible plans for a Mini Van. Yes I did not make that up, as bad a pun as it is) I almost think that if the 1 series is successful it will definitely take away sales from Mini, even though the 1 Series is fugly. I really wish auto manufacturers would stop this whole "Make a car for every segment" bullshit. Some companies have no business sticking their noses in some segments.

Moving on.

This part has been ranted on to all holy hell, but I can't help but touch upon it.

Why does every game developer feel the need to put multiplayer in almost EVERY game?
At this rate, the next Final Fantasy will not only be terrible and take 50 years to make, but will have versus deathmatch as well. I get that FPS games with multiplayer make bank, but sheesh when will it end?

Whatever. Like it matters.

Moving further on.

Ever think about your funeral? No I don't mean in an emo sense where you think life is terrible because you were late coming home and your parents fed your dinner to the dog whom they treat better than most people even though it shits everywhere but outside.

I mean like the actual event, where you're in the coffin....or burned to a crisp, and there's people mourning.
Yeah that.

Ok so I understand its a sad event (unless you were a REAL asshole and fucked up big time), but why can't a person want it to be more than a bunch of people grieving at a cemetary, faced with the fact that humans are quite mortal?

Here's how I see mine:

First off, I want a BLACK hearse. Silver hearses are such bullshit. Also, the older the better, and ideally a really old hot rod hearse. Following that, I want whomever shows up to be in their "nice" car. Example? My friend TwistedSymphony would be in his black LS1 Powered 240sx. I hope by this time my wife will have learned stick, so she could drive one of my old Beetles in the line of cars.

Next? The funeral procession heads to OSG Paintball, where a memorial GearsOfWar game is played, and my coffin is placed in the field as something to hide behind. It will get hit with copious amounts of paint, and therefore will look pretty damned cool compared to most coffins.

After that, I'm assuming everyone will want to change, and will do as such. We then (I say we cause technically I'm there, just as roadkill) head to the cemetery for the final procession. At the cemetery, good beer and mixed drinks will be served, and random mixes of my favorite music shall be played.

Finally, as my paint covered coffin is put into the crown, Dio's Holy Diver will play.

Too much? Too little? Feel free to comment.