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Tuesday, November 6, 2012

If Cybertronians could vote.....

Then we would end up with a much better government in my opinion.

Let's be honest here folks, "real" politicians aren't doing shit unless a company pays them to get it done. We will never ever elect just a normal person from say, the middle class, so why not have some fun and imagine if Prime/Ironhide was actually on the ballot....AND WON!

It would be insane. It would be incredible. It would also be change you can see.

Let's go by each position and see who would slot where shall we? And yes, this post is an excuse to flex my nerd muscles!

President/Commander In Chief: Optimus Prime. Leader of the Autobots, fighting for freedom for eons. So who better than him to defend our freedom, and in all his eons of wisdom, right the damned ship?

Vice President: Ironhide. And I don't mean movie Ironhide, I mean 1984-1989 Ironhide, the red van that took shit from no one. He's old, he's ornery, but he is also reliable, and let's it be known what he thinks while not being afraid to act if needed, but with a good sense of judgement.

Now! Onward to the Cabinet positions shall we?

Secretary of State: So given that this is typically a position deal with foreign affairs, we would want someone with an even keeled personality, who doesn't lash out, and can properly analyze tense situations. For this, I believe Optimus would pick his brother in trailers Ultra Magnus. Time and time again, Magnus was called upon to take lead and quell tense situations, and other than the 1986 movie, he did a great job.

Secretary of the Treasury: Only one bot is a perfect fit for this. Perceptor. As a mathematically programmed Autobot, there is no one better I could see managing the country's money. 

Secretary of Defense: This one is tough, as there are a lot of qualified Autobots. The Dinobots, especially Grimlock, you would think to be perfect. However, given how delicate things are in the world today, their crush first, ask later ways would not bode well. Therefore I believe Optimus would have selected none other than Hound. A military Jeep, a reliable and even keeled soldier, and great at communication. Enough said.

Attorney General: So this one is interesting, because of the different things the AG has to do. One would need a bot who can analyze situations and decide fairly, but also doesn't take any shit from whiners about his decisions. Therefore Optimus would probably pick Arcee (the TF Prime version). She is intelligent, keeps a cool head under duress, and doesn't take shit when it comes to her decisions. Boom.

Secretary of the Interior: Given what this particular position does as far as studying land and whatnot, you would think Perceptor would be perfect, but he was already picked for Treasurer. No no, I believe Optimus would pick Glyph. Even with her Beetle form, she is an avid archeologist, and loves to explore, therefore she would know what's best to do with the land in times of crisis and preservation.

Secretary of Agriculture: This one is tough, as well, Autobots don't really eat human food....However, I believe given how much it involves numbers and distribution, Optimus would choose Wheeljack. As a scientist, he can help develop solutions to agricultural issues such as pesticides and the like, and being good with numbers, will know how to deal with crop shortages.

Secretary of Commerce: Given that this is a position dealing with helping industrial and commercial growth, who better for Optimus to pick than Wreck-Gar? His ability to make the most of very little could help growth buy being able to work what little budget many small businesses have, and would be great for notr making the deficit worse than it is! 

Secretary of Labor: For someone that has to deal with the clusterfuck that are the unions, I believe Optimus would pick Grimlock for this. Its a lot easier to negotiate when you're a robotic T-Rex who takes shit from no person or bot. Just saying.

Secretary of Health and Human Services: This one is a no brainer. Who better than somebot responsible for putting all sorts of injured and damaged Autobots together? Ratchet aaaaalllll day.

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Well who better to choose fora position involving homes and development/refurbishing of areas than Grapple? He loves to build, and understands the minute details of it. 

Secretary of Transportation: Well technically since most of the Autobots are cars, any of them would be qualified, but you want one who's passion is actually driving around right? Therefore Optimus would choose Smokescreen (the Tranformers Prime version). He is a bit young and brash at times, but this will gain him experience, and he will definitely want to maintain the roads he so loves to drive on.

Secretary of Energy: Given a cybertonian's need for energon, and the Autobots' having to carefully distribute it during their conflict, they have a great many things to contribute to energy and energy research. Optimus would choose Cosmos. His understanding of how to use energon wisely over long periods of space travel will definitely help us greatly.

Secretary of Education: Who better for this than Skids? As somewhat of a scientist and a bot who loves to learn, he would be perfect for working with the system to better how our kids learn.

Secretary of Veterans Affairs: No-brainer here, you'd want someone with lots of war experience, who has seens some stuff and some things man......a bot like Kup, who has more stories than any bot ever, and a great knowledge of what veterans need.

Secretary of Homeland Security: Again, a no-brainer. As a master of enforcement, defense, and recon, Prowl is the obvious choice. His ability as a military strategist also will help greatly if we ever get invaded. 

And there you have it! So remember vote Prime/Ironhide 2012!! Change you can see!!!

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Just a pillar of mediocrity trying to sift through my thoughts for some sort of meaning.